Super-Employees: What are they and where can I find one?

In my current position, finding jobs online for JobOpenings.net, I am constantly reading job descriptions on employer websites all over the Internet.  The more I read, the more I realize that there is a pattern emerging among many of the announcements of job openings.  No matter what other qualifications they want and no matter what salary they expect to pay, most employers want "Super Employees."    What are the characteristics of this super employee everyone wants?

Here is my best list of super employee qualities:

• Able to work independently with little supervision
• Superior written and verbal communication skills
• Excellent work ethic
• Strong decision making skills
• Knowledge of all office equipment and all PC software
• Advanced research abilities
• Advanced analytical abilities
• Impeccable ethical standards
• Flawless credit record
• Perfect health
• The ability to travel anywhere any time and without notice
• The ability to work late any day without advanced notice
• No hint of any kind of drugs (prescription or otherwise) in the past present of future
• Strong leadership skills
• Experience doing the exact job in question
• Well-read and well versed in business and current events
• Actively athletic
• Well-dressed
• Professional
• Good-looking
• Flawless employment record
• Flawless educational record
• Willing to work on commission or for a promise of future profits
• Excited about your business with the ability to contribute profitable ideas

Does that about cover it, Mr. or Ms. Recruiter?  I know the list is an exageration and I know employers can't even mention some of the items on the list.  However, does it change the fact that employers tend to have expectations that can easily be called an "impossible dream."

Has anyone ever met any of these super employees?  Of course not, because they don’t exist.  OK, if there is no such person or if the job description is so unrealistic that no one could possibly fit the profile, why do employers continue to ask for the impossible?

As an employer, should you persist in asking for the impossible?  As a job seeker, how should you handle an employer who seems to have such unrealistic expectation?

To be continued…

Comments

[Peter]

It not easy to answer, but one who is never sick, works all the time, makes tons off money for the compagny and never leaves...

something like that

[Job Prowler]

No one is a perfect human being. With that said, I'm willing to invest my blood, sweat, and tears into a company if -- and here's the big categorical if -- they are willing to invest in me. Give me benefits. Offer me competitive compensation. And, above all, be willing to train me for success.

To better answer you question, it is fruitless asking for the "impossible dream". Employees are not machines working machines. People have families. People have personal tragedies. It is silly, therefore, to ask an employee to work entirely on commission or to travel anywhere, any place, at any time.

As a job prowler, my response towards a recruiter is "How did you compensate the previous employee?". If the previous recruit worked overtime at any day at any time, what was his reward? The recruiter is looking for a super employee. I'm looking for a super employer. There needs to be a decent halfway point.